


The Walking... Fanboy(s)

by demondetox



Series: The Walking... Fanboy(s) [1]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M, conversational swear words, pg-15
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-04
Updated: 2017-07-05
Packaged: 2018-11-23 11:08:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11401278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/demondetox/pseuds/demondetox
Summary: Jared (25), Jensen (38). In this world, Andrew Lincoln doesn’t exist. Instead, Jensen Ackles plays Rick Grimes.Jared Padalecki is an avid The Walking Dead fan. It's fuled his love for leading man Jensen Ackles and helped him spark an online friendship with Steven, who he's been bonding with over the tv show since day one. Their mutual love for their favorite tv show brought them so close that Jared's heart is hoping for more. When Steven gives him the gift of a century, with the added possiblity of their frienship becoming something more, Jensen Ackles comes into Jared's life and turns everything upside down.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Art: [DemonDetox](http://demondetoxmanual.tumblr.com) | Art post: [on LJ](http://demondetox.livejournal.com/61447.html)
> 
> Beta: [My beautiful, very talented and absolutely amazing wifey](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ObsidianRomance). With thanks to her great support and smart brains, this story has turned into something I've fallen in love with. Her way with words never ceazes to amaze me. I'm forever grateful to have her in my life... and for her incredible betaing skills. Thank you so much, Freckles. Without you, I'd be lost and I'd never be able to publish my stories. From the bottom of heart, thank you. I love you; today more than I did yesterday. <3
> 
> Special thanks to the 40+ people who went above and beyond to fulfill _my_ lifetime wish of meeting Jared  & Jensen. I have to thank these people for having the time of my life at HousCon 2017. I have met amazing people and made great friends. Their love will forever warm my heart and this story is my way of saying thank you.
> 
> The Walking... Fanboy(s) holds many real life happenings and the people mentioned (either by name or scene) will know who they are. Thank you for being in my life. Thank you for making my life better. To the people not in my life anymore: You have left me with fond memories and I'm thankful that our encounter gave me something positive to write about.

 

 

 

Jared knows he is late for class, even worse, he knows he is late for his American Literature exam. He has spent weeks preparing for it. Not to mention that he already paid for it as well. But last night he stayed up late. It isn’t like he had much of a choice, because the new episode aired and it is so not his fault that AMC can’t show gore and Grimes before 9pm. Okay, maybe that isn’t too late. But there was no way Jared couldn’t analyse every detail of the latest episode on the forum. That is what he does, who he is. He might be obsessed. But, at least, he is not the only one. Steven, his online friend for going on seven years now, was the first to ask Jared’s opinion. Usually, they banter over their favorite character: Rick Grimes. However, the last episode proved to be a heartbreaker for the both of them. No Rick Grimes to be seen. What a shit-fest.

Jared is still unsure if Steven understands how very disappointing it is for Jared to not see Jensen Ackles on screen - being all badass and killing zombies day in and out. Well, truth is, Jared believes that Jensen Ackles could read Austin’s phone book to him and it would still be the most badass and sexy thing to witness. Alright, maybe there is where Jared’s obsession really lies. It’s a complete and utter Ackles thing he has going on. He doesn’t think anyone would dare to tell him otherwise; everybody knows Jared will defend Jensen Ackles with an inch of his life.

So, there Jared is, phone clutched in his hand as he rushes through the crowd of students while still typing up a few messages. Steven has been online all morning, complaining in Jared’s name that there was no Rick Grimes to see in yesterday’s episode.

“Come on, you don’t like it either. You wanted him to appear on screen just as much as I did.” Jared types quickly and hits send.

 _“Nah, I’m not taking your fanboy #1 crown from you. You still crying?”_ Jared reads the text and chuckles. Leave it to Steven to keep mocking him that Jared was close to tears. It was mostly because Morgan finally told Carol what happened to Glenn and Abraham. It was a teary moment and Jared made the mistake of telling Steven that he couldn’t hold back his tears because he felt the heartbreak of Glenn’s death all over again.

“I hate you.” He answers, and they both know that it is a lie. Jared doesn’t hate, least of all Steven.

 _“You love me. Not as much as badass-Ackles, but you do love me. Admit it!”_ Steven answers within a heartbeat and Jared can’t argue with that. He definitely loves Steven. The extent of this love is, unfortunately, unknown to him. They do get each other, barely a day goes by without a word from one another, they share the same interests and they definitely hit on each other via instant messenger more often than not. That kind of flirting is, so Jared believes, more joking around, but, sometimes it does feel realer than it maybe should. They have a strange friendship. A great one, but still strange. He wouldn’t want it any other way.

“I’d choose you over Ackles. ;)” Jared replies and, to his surprise, he actually means it.

 _“Liar. If you could, you’d screw him three ways to Sunday. :D”_ That, however, is kind of true too. Steven knows Jared just a little too well.

Sometimes Jared regrets that he told Steven about his homosexuality, but, on the other hand, there was nobody else to talk to and when he learned that the other man is free of prejudice, Jared felt comfortable to finally get this heavy secret off his chest. Though, ever since he came out to Steven, the man doesn’t miss an opportunity to remind Jared that he has the absolute hots for Jensen Ackles. “Takes one to know one.” The answer is sent in a hurry, as Jared crashes through the door and almost runs his professor over. “Sorry.” He mumbles and takes long strides past the man to find his seat.

 _“I’m only gay for you, fanboy.”_ Jared reads the new text and wonders how much of that is actually true. It would be kind of weird if it was, because even though he and Steven have known each other for so long, their friendship only takes place online. Maybe, someday, when Jared wins the lottery, he will hop on a plane to Seattle and visit Steven. The line between jokes and reality is a little too blurry for him. What he can’t deny, however, is that, if Steven wouldn’t live so many states away, they could probably be very close friends in real life too, if not even more if he really is gay for Jared. What Steven definitely is: bi. That much Jared knows. Steven doesn’t hold back with compliments towards other men and did mention that he has had something going on with both genders.

As it is though, Jared locks his phone without another answer and settles in his seat to mentally prepare himself for his test. Failing it is not an option, not with his finances running as low as they could possibly be. While talking about his favorite tv show might be fun and it gave him a great friend like Steven, he still has to make sure that he doesn’t screw up his future. Jared always wanted to be a writer, and, whereas you don’t need a diploma to have a high imagination and create fictional worlds, he still needs to pass all his tests if writing for a living doesn’t pay out.

Almost two hours into his test and Jared feels drained, so much so that he toys with the idea of calling it a day. His brain can only handle so much American Literature and thinking of the hours of other classes still ahead of him makes him cringe. Though, he knows exactly what is at stake and he needs all the credit he can get so he powers through every class and takes notes on everything he deems important.

When he is finally back in his dorm, Jared can take the first real breather since he woke up. He kicks off his shoes, throws his backpack in the nearest corner and slumps down on his bed. He fishes his cell phone out of his jean’s pocket to check if his boss from the coffee shop sent a message, but, apparently, they don’t need him today. Which sucks. He told his boss that he needs more hours. Then again, more hours mean less time to study. However, he needs the money too. His studies are slow going do to the lack of financial support and at age twenty-five he would really like to get a diploma sometime soon. Jared supposes there is not much left for him to do for the rest of the afternoon and opens the app for the TWD forum. One of the old posters pops up on the loading screen and Jared makes a mental note to talk to Steven about it, that they should fix it. They are long past season two and he guesses that it is a glitch in the app or Steven has been trying to update the app. Only to mess it up even more. The man does that. Often. How Steven managed to build that whole forum all by himself will always be beyond Jared, because one thing he knows for sure: the man has zero skill when it comes to anything HTML, Java or CSS related. Nonetheless, Jared won’t complain. Not too much at least. Because without said platform, he and Steven wouldn’t be friends.

 

The loading screen takes longer than usual, a clear sign that Steven indeed messed up or, as it happens a lot, the server is too full. Jared forces the app to close and tries anew. This time he has more luck and his message feed comes into sight. Looking at the numbers, he isn’t surprised that he has dozens of new replies to his latest post from last night and he received just as many private messages. Without having to check them, he can guess that at least one of them is from Steven. To prove himself right, he does open his messages first and the fourth message is, as suspected, from his friend. The subject, however, makes Jared’s brows furrow in confusion.

 

 

> _**From:** RickGrimes-Fan (webmaster) _ _  
>  _ _**Subject:** I hope you’re wearing you shitting pants, fanboy! _
> 
> _Hey fanboy! Ha. I’ll never get tired of calling you that, buddy. Listen, I’ve been thinking. Yeah, yeah, I know… I shouldn’t strain myself like that. Remember when we talked about Walker Stalker in Chicago? Of course you do. So, listen up. I’ve been checking with a few other people for confirmation, but it’s definitely happening in two weeks. But you know what’s even better? I can guarantee you that Ackles is appearing. It’s not official yet, but he will be there. Promise. Wouldn’t tell you if it wasn’t the case. And you know me, so far I’ve always been right. You know how they said a ‘special guest tba soon’... that’ll be him. We gotta get your fangirling ass to Chicago. I probably won’t be able to make it… work and shit but we have to get you there. What do you say?_
> 
> _Hit me up when you’re on._
> 
> _Steven_

 

Twice, Jared has to read the message and his emotions are all over the place. Steven knows that Jared would give anything to go. Unfortunately, he doesn’t have anything to give. He and Steven have been talking about the Walker Stalker convention non-stop, from the moment the event was announced. Steven also knows, Jared doesn’t have that kind of money. Teasing him with such a message is almost cruel. Sure, the two-day-tickets aren’t that expensive, but adding the extra photo ops, autographs, flight and hotel makes it financially impossible for him to handle such an event. And even more so, on such short notice since that convention is in less than two weeks. For a little while longer, Jared contemplates how and what exactly to answer to Steven’s mail. The man knows that money is always tight on Jared’s end, but to what extent Jared has never let on. It’s embarrassing and, while he tries everything to make money, it’s difficult to juggle classes and a job at the same time.

Before Jared has a chance to think of a friendly reply, his forum messenger beeps, indicating a new instant message coming in.

 

> _RickGrimes-Fan: Saw you read my mail._

Yeah, he sure did. Too bad that the forum’s message system allows the sender to see if their message has been read or not.

 

> The-Walking-Fan: I did. It’s great and all.. But… yeah, not gonna go.
> 
> _RickGrimes-Fan: Why the hell not? Ackles hasn’t been to a con in a while. Who knows when he’ll attend another one. Might be your last chance?!_

Last chance or not, Jared can’t get that much money. Not now, not in the near future. And now he really is short of crying, because they both know that it has been his one and only wish for so long. Not only going to a convention of his favorite tv show, but being face to face with Jensen Ackles.

 

> The-Walking-Fan: Too expensive. If they’d come to TX I might be able to swing it, but Chicago? Not going to happen. </3
> 
> _RickGrimes-Fan: What about that new job you told me about?_
> 
> The-Walking-Fan: Didn’t work out. I’m still waiting tables at the weekends. And I still gotta get my car fixed. I need the car more.
> 
> _RickGrimes-Fan: You also need to meet Ackles._
> 
> The-Walking-Fan: Lol. True. But he ain’t paying for my diploma; gotta do that myself. And to pay for that, I need to work. In order to work, I need my car. You feel me?
> 
> _RickGrimes-Fan: Oh wouldn’t you enjoy it if I’d feel you!_
> 
> The-Walking-Fan: Right back at ya. ;)
> 
> _RickGrimes-Fan: I gotta head out for a bit. I’ll message you in an hour or so. You gonna be on?_
> 
> The-Walking-Fan: Sure. I’ll see you later.
> 
> _RickGrimes-Fan: Later, fanboy!_
> 
> **RickGrimes-Fan has logged off.**

And with that, Jared is left sulking and cursing the day he was born. Life just keeps screwing him left and right. He sure as hell is a magnet for bad luck and the fact that there is a chance in reaching distance to meet Jensen Ackles for him, his life simply won’t allow for it to happen. Jared has his priorities straight; he knows very well what is important and what can wait. Giving his everything to build a decent life for himself, without the support of his family is priority number one. Watching a tv show and discussing its episodes with other fans won’t ever pay his bills. Therefore, he can only hope that life will get easier at some point. He doesn’t mind hard labor, he doesn’t mind getting his hands dirty and going through some rough times. If only he knew it would pay off sometime. Right now, he just finished another long day; a day that will end with him being alone in his dorm with the possibility of his roommate not showing up for the night again. It’s lonely for sure, but Jared is used to it by now. He had to learn to live alone, by himself. Being reminded, by Steven, of the things he can’t have is a definite way to upset Jared further. In times like these, he wishes there was someone to hold him. In times like these, he misses his family, even though he shouldn’t; not after they sent him on his merry way and broke off any form of contact. Locking himself too deep into a pity party is not a great idea and it will only lead to more heartbreak and tears so he decides to do what he does best: write.

Without realizing what he is doing, he is knee-deep in a story he had abandoned many moons ago. It is one of the few stories that are not fandom-related in any way. Truth is, he hasn’t written a fic for the fandom in a long time. Sometimes he misses it but he is too busy to worry about writing that won’t lead him to a steady income. What he also misses are the positive reviews; those are what every writer thrives for, what they crave and what keeps them going. With the stories he plans on publishing someday, he doesn’t get much feedback, mostly because he doesn’t have anyone to share the stories with. The only person he shares his writing with is Steven, but they only talk about the fics Jared wrote so far. His friend is good with advice and constantly pushes Jared; cheering him on and complementing his writing style. Usually, Steven isn’t too keen on any fictional stories the fans share on the forum, but that is mostly do to the fact that some fans can be really crazy, bat-shit-crazy to be exact, and neither Jared, nor Steven indulge with the tinhatters.

Around half a chapter later, the instant messenger notifies him that ‘RickGrimes-Fan’ sent a message. Jared smiles and closes his word document before opening Steven’s chat window.

 

> _RickGrimes-Fan: Do you trust me?_

The question is totally strange and comes out of nowhere. Jared does trust Steven, of course he does. He has proven that to be the case many times within the last seven years. It is an odd question nonetheless.

 

> The-Walking-Fan: Now I’m worried. LOL Why? You know I do.
> 
> _RickGrimes-Fan: Well, yeah. But I need something from you._
> 
> The-Walking-Fan: Eh… my virginity is already gone. What else could you possibly want?
> 
> _RickGrimes-Fan: I want your babies._
> 
> The-Walking-Fan: Figure out how to impregnate a gay man and you can have as many babies with me as you want.
> 
> _RickGrimes-Fan: I’m no scientist. So, how about a  copy of your ID instead?_

For a moment Jared thinks that his friend is joking because no matter how much they like each other, or the fact that they tell each other almost everything, he wonders why Steven would want a copy of his ID. It sounds so random that it can’t be anything but a joke. There are a whole lot of things Steven knows about Jared, but his ID is something he doesn’t hand out just like that. His head tells him to be cautious, but his heart says he can trust the other man.

 

> _RickGrimes-Fan: I’m not gonna do anything stupid with it. It’s just for me, I swear. I need it for something good._
> 
> _RickGrimes-Fan: And I won’t stalk you. Think of it that way: with the many gifts I’ve sent you in the past, I could have done that already. So?_

Mh. Steven does have a point. The man already knows where Jared lives. He knows his full name, he first asked for it two years ago when he was determined to send Jared a gift to campus. The last gift he received was a silly Valentine’s card a few weeks ago. Jared cracks up laughing only by thinking of the hand-written rhyme in the inside of the card ‘Roses are red, walkers are dead, … boy, you’d look great in my bed.’

 

> _RickGrimes-Fan: You know how much I care about you. I’d never do anything that could hurt you._

Steven is almost begging with him and Jared weighs his options. If the man was out to hurt him, he could have really done so already. In a worst case scenario, Jared could just report his ID as stolen. For some reason he doubts that it will come to that and that is when he reaches for his wallet in his back pocket of his jeans and pulls his ID out. With the plastic card in one hand and his eyes locked on the screen he comes to face a whole nother problem.

 

> The-Walking-Fan: I don’t even have a scanner.
> 
> _RickGrimes-Fan: I’ve been typing my ass off and you worry about a scanner. Typical. :P Just take a picture of it with your phone and send it to my regular email address. :)_
> 
> The-Walking-Fan: You promise not to use it for any illegal shit, right?

Jared is aware that no matter the answer, it could well be a lie.

 

> _RickGrimes-Fan: Dude, I love you. I’d never get you into trouble._

There is a well known pang and clench around his heart, deep inside Jared’s chest. A feeling he is always greeted with when Steven says such things. If only there wouldn’t be thousands of miles separating them. They would probably hang out together every waking minute and maybe… maybe, they could be more. Character-wise, Steven is definitely the kind of guy Jared would take out on a date.

 

> The-Walking-Fan: Yeah yeah, stop kissing my ass. Love you, too.

And Jared does. He loves Steven. In a totally platonic, close-friends-way. With the occasional thoughts of more than just platonic. To stop his train of thoughts, Jared does take a picture of his ID with his cell phone and sends it straight to Steven’s email. The quality of the picture is crappy, but it is all his phone has to offer. At some point, when life gets better, he might have to invest in a better phone, too. For now, though, it is still working and that is good enough. Good enough for whatever Steven is going to do with Jared’s ID. He has to admit, he is a little nervous about sharing such an important document with the man.

 

> The-Walking-Fan: Sent. Be good. Don’t make me hunt you down.
> 
> _RickGrimes-Fan: That a promise or a threat? ;) I’ll check my mails and be back in a bit._
> 
> The-Walking-Fan: Alright. I’m so gonna regret this, aren’t I?
> 
> _RickGrimes-Fan: Oh shush._
> 
> **RickGrimes-Fan has logged off.**

Now Jared is beyond nervous. He has absolutely no idea what is going on or what is going to happen. It is not uncommon for Steven to log in and out at random times, or, to disappear and be gone for hours. Still, his gut tries to tell him that he has made a mistake, that he shouldn’t gift someone with that much trust, someone he only knows from what the screen shows him. There isn’t much he can do now, except wait and hope for the best.

In order to kill the wait, Jared pockets his phone and digs through his backpack to find the last protein bar he knows he left in there. He should eat more, at some point, but as of lately his tuition is taking up most of the money he earns and food around campus is getting ridiculous expensive. There aren’t many options. There is either earning a degree while starving or no degree but food in the fridge. Thinking of it that way has Jared on the verge of packing his belongings and leaving college behind. Where he should go though, he has no idea. So he stays put. He has no place to go, there is only his dorm left. He could be close to dying of starvation and his family would still slam their door in his face, unless, so they said, he’s gotten ‘over that disgusting gay-phase’. Trying to reason with them has been fruitless. And changing? He can’t do that. He didn’t choose to be attracted by the same gender; it is who he is and hiding was, simply put, no longer going to happen.

Jared hears the soft chirp of his email app and for a minute he thinks of just ignoring it and going to sleep. But then another, louder beep comes to life, letting him know that he has received a new instant message. That is why he reconsiders and checks his phone. Jared smiles, broad and honest when Steven’s username pops up.

 

> _RickGrimes-Fan: Check your mails. Gotta run. Work’s so far up my ass I can taste it. Love your face. Talk to you later._
> 
> **RickGrimes-Fan has logged off.**

Well, okay then. Jared thinks and shakes his head. He closes the app again and opens his mail account. There are at least twenty spam mails he didn’t bother deleting yet and one new email from Steven, showing that there is an attachment. The attachment turns out to be eight pdf files, named by numbers. He ignores them for now and starts reading what Steven wrote in the email.

 

> _Hey fanboy!_
> 
> _I got you an early birthday gift this year. I know, life has been shitty lately and I thought you deserve something good for once. I care about you a lot and you’re important to me. So is your happiness. I want, no, I need, you to be happy. Maybe this little gift will lift your spirit. All you have to do is find a printer at campus and get all these documents printed out for you. Be aware that everything is taken care of. There is nothing left for you to worry about. Well, except getting to the airport. Have all the fun you can and I expect a full report on every tiny detail._
> 
> _I knew, that, if I had offered and asked, you would have denied. Which is, why I had to go behind your back and take care of it myself. For once, you have no other choice but to accept the gift._
> 
> _Work is crazy right now, not sure I’ll be able to log in tomorrow, but if anything comes up just send mail._
> 
> _Love you, buddy._
> 
> _Steven._

Jared has no idea whatsoever what is going on. Until he opens the files Steven attached to his mail. He opens them by number. File named ‘one’ he opens first, Steven probably had his reasons to name them in that order.

File one takes a while to load on his phone, he reached his data limit a couple of days ago and opening any larger files is a pain in the ass. As soon as the pdf file is complete and shown on his screen, Jared’s eyes grow wide. Disbelief and something close to shock is threatening to make his blood boil in all the right ways. He simply can’t believe what he is looking at: a round-trip ticket by American Airlines; from Austin to Chicago and back. In ten days. It is a plane ticket. No, tickets. Plural. Two tickets. He checks the tickets, reads every detail of them and they seem to be the real deal. There, in black bold letters he can read his own name on them. They are for him. A flight to Chicago in ten days. Jared is so close to tears he almost drops his phone. He starts sweating, heat rises from deep within him and dizziness makes him tremble.

Now he can’t stop himself from stocking up on hope that all these files are what he has wished for for so many years. Is this really happening? It can’t be. Jared’s attempt of doing a reality check ends up failing. By the time he opens the second file, his heart is already racing a mile a minute. Pdf file two is a hotel reservation, made in his name. Hyatt Regency. Jared knows exactly where the hotel is at. He always knows about those things. That hotel is the closest to the Donald E Stephens Convention Center. The Convention Center where the next Walker Stalker convention will be held at.

“Oh my god.” A flood of sobs break from his throat. “Oh my god.” He repeats again. “This can’t be…” His voice cracks and Jared allows the tears to stream over his cheeks. When he, eventually, manages to blink them away, he scrolls further down in the pdf file and finds a voucher from the hotel, a voucher that tells him there will be free room service of their whole menu for the complete duration of his stay. It has his name on it, too. As well as a room number already assigned to him. “This is crazy.” Jared still can’t believe what he is looking at, but reading even further, he finds the last page of the second pdf file, it is a booking reservation from the hotel, stating that they confirm the finalized payment and ‘enjoy your stay’. “Holy shit.” By now, Jared begins to realize that this must be real, that all this is why Steven needed a copy of his ID - for all the bookings. For a split second Jared experiences a short burst of fear and he wants to check his credit card statement, finding out if he has been messed with. Then, however, he remembers that he doesn’t even have a credit card and Steven must in fact have paid for all of this.

There are six more attachments to open and the third file is a ticket order confirmation for the Walker Stalker convention. Upon closer look, eyes popping almost out of Jared’s skull, he can see that those are not just any tickets. “No fucking way.” Jared’s hand flies to his mouth, covering another wave of sobs as he looks at a confirmation for a Platinum VIP ticket. It is an invoice in his name with the information that the payment has been processed. “Jesus Christ, Steven.” He mumbles and sobs because he is aware of how expensive those tickets are. If Jared would get a dollar for every time he checked for venue prices and tickets, he would be able to attend any convention he wanted to.

There is so much to process and take in, but all Jared can do is keep on crying. This is too much. It suddenly hits him. It is too much. How can he possibly accept a gift of such proportions. He can’t. And Steven knows that. Steven knows and that is why his friend didn’t even ask him. Jared could easily say no and not accept any of this but then, Steven would have wasted a fortune for nought. A fortune. That is what this is: a fortune. Absent mindedly, Jared opens the last attachments while continuing to shake his head at this massive early birthday gift. There are autograph and photo op tickets for Jared, ready to print out and use in ten days. The Platinum VIP tickets already come with those, and yet, Steven still purchased extra tickets. Jared laughs when a memory of an older conversation with Steven enters his mind. It was back in the day, when the option of Platinum VIP tickets was first offered. These kind of tickets entail four photo ops of your choice and Steven had asked him, who he would want to take pictures with. Jared’s answer was short, without missing a beat: ‘Ackles. All four of them. And then buy extra ops for the other cast members.’ His friend obviously remembers this conversation too.

“How?” The question slips from Jared’s lips into the quiet of his room. He doesn’t understand how and why Steven would do that. Sending Jared a box of ramen would have been enough to keep him from starving and even that, Jared would have kindly declined because nobody but him is responsible to turn his life to the better. And this, all of it, a complete trip to fulfill his lifetime wish is beyond crazy. He never heard Steven complain about his own life or job or anything else. All Jared knows is, that Steven’s job pays well and he can pay his bills on time. In that moment he realizes that there are a lot of things he doesn’t know about his friend. One of those things being what it actually is Steven does for a living. However, it never mattered, and it still doesn’t. The only thing that matters is that Jared has no clue how to ever thank his friend for any of this. Which is exactly what he will have to write in an email to Steven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy 4th of July, 'Murica! Happy Birthday to my mini-me. <3


	2. Chapter 2

 

By the time the shuttle bus arrives at the hotel, Jared is dead on his feet. He never guessed that excitement could actually wear you out and leave you exhausted. As it is though, Jared can’t wait to check in and dive right into bed. If there is an actual bed waiting for him. Hours of messenger conversations took place between him and Steven, hours where Jared kept on saying that he couldn’t possibly accept this amazing gift. Hours where his friend kept on saying to shut up and deal with it. When Jared asked why Steven wouldn’t go to the convention himself, he was told that work would probably get in the way, but, he would try to make it. It is that thought that keeps Jared upright, the possibility of maybe meeting Steven for the first time, too. Obviously, money isn’t an issue for his friend, so Jared hopes that Steven’s job will allow the man to fly to Chicago himself. It would be the coolest thing ever, Jared smirks at his own thoughts, if he could enjoy and experience his first convention with the only person he holds dear to his heart. There are still thoughts of ‘this can’t be real’ circling his head when he walks up to the reception of the hotel, thinking, that, maybe, it is all just some sick joke and he won’t have a room booked for him. Then again, he would have had the first disappointment at the airport in Austin. However, there was no disappointment. His flight ticket was as real as it could be.

After greeting the lady at the counter, Jared hands over his printed booking reservation with a smile on his lips. When he feels his dimples pop, the woman returns with a beautiful lipstick-covered smile of her own. “You’re in room 907, Mr. Padalecki,” she says, perfectly white teeth almost blinding him as she gives Jared a keycard for his room.

“Thank you.”

“You’re very welcome, sir. If there is anything you need, dial #100 on your room’s phone and we’ll be at your service right away,” she explains and bids him farewell for now.

Jared tries to find his way to the elevators, his duffle bag strapped tightly to his shoulder. The whole place seems to be crowded with The Walking Dead fans, people wearing merchandise from head to toe giving the reason for their stay away. While he waits for the elevator to reach ground level, Jared notices a girl, probably his age, looking at him, eyes squinty and wheels in her head turning. He feels the urge to hide but not wanting to be rude he gives her a quick smile and returns his focus to the elevator door.

“I think I know you.” The girl says then, her back slumping against the wall in front of Jared.

“Uh… I wouldn’t know where from.” Jared answers, but keeps his tone friendly. Maybe she is going to UT as well, but he might have seen her around at some point. Her face, however, doesn’t look familiar at all.

“The forum, I think. I’m not sure though, maybe I’m mistaking you. Unless you’re the one whose face is being eaten off by a dog.” The girl chuckles and she places her palm over the span of her face, showing what she is talking about.

It clicks then, what she means. Jared had just recently changed his user picture on the forum again. His roommate’s family came over for a visit and they brought their dogs, who Jared fell in love with right away. Chad, his roommate, had snapped a bunch of pictures and Jared uploaded one of it to his profile.

“That’s me. Yeah. And you are?” Jared extends his hand. The girl looks at it but shakes her head, pushing his hand out of the way and going for a full on hug instead.

“First con, huh? We don’t shake hands. We hug. I’m Kelsey. But on the forum I’m ‘CarolMcBride’.” She gives him another squeeze before slowly stepping back and out of his personal space.

“Well, it’s nice meeting you, Kelsey.” The elevator dings and the doors open. Jared lets Kelsey go in first and follows suit. He has seen her username on the forum a few times but he can’t remember ever being on her actual profile or interacting with her.

“Your boyfriend coming too?” She asks out of nowhere when the doors close.

“My… uh, what?” Jared is taken aback, wondering why Kelsey would think Jared has a boyfriend.

“Steven. Or, ‘RickGrimes-Fan’ rather. Aren’t you two like… you know.” The girl begins to nibble at her bottom lip, obviously uncomfortable for coming to the wrong conclusion.

“Oh. No. No, we’re just friends. We’re good friends.” Jared stumbles over his words.

“Huh. I was sure that there is more going on. Considering the way you two constantly agree on everything, giving each other cute nicknames and stuff.” Kelsey shrugs it off then and moves her eyes away from Jared, scanning the floor numbers on the elevator.

Jared wonders if there are other people on the forum who think that he and Steven are an item. They sure don’t hide the fact that they like each other. The forum’s servers almost broke down with the season six finale. Jared was, of course, one of the first to create a public post about Glenn’s unexpected death. The thread was online for a few hours when Steven left a comment on the post. _‘Don’t cry, lover. Need me to hold you?’_ Jared had sent him an instant message, calling him an asshole and they were back to making each other laugh again. Steven’s messages always work like magic, turning Jared’s sadness into something better. Jared bets that, if Steven was there with him, the man would have totally played along with Kelsey’s assumption. That would be fun. They both would have a lot of fun together at the convention. As it is though, Jared is still waiting on work-news from his friend, sending out a couple of mental prayers that the man will somehow manage to fly to Chicago.

Reaching his floor, Jared waves Kelsey goodbye and tells her it would be nice seeing her around. He finds his room without any trouble. The only real trouble is the keycard, which doesn’t work right away but somehow, after a few more tries, the door’s lock clicks and a green light indicates that it is unlocked now. Perfect. Finally Jared can find some peace and quiet. The bed looks definitely big enough to hold his large frame and he falls down on it in a second flat, duffle bag following him and pinning him down. He could just close his eyes and fall asleep as he is, but then his stomach starts rumbling and growling, reminding him that he didn’t eat anything since he left his dorm in the morning. Now it is almost dinner time and if he wants to survive the convention then he has no choice but stuff his face with some food. Knowing that there is a voucher for his room, he grabs the menu from the bedside table and studies it. They have anything and everything a person could possibly ask for. But Jared doesn’t know exactly how the voucher works, so he calls the front desk to make sure he doesn’t step into any mistakes.

“Hi. Uh, this is room 907. I wanted to order some food and I have a voucher but, uh… yeah, how’s that work?” Jared all but stutters, feeling a little stupid over not knowing these things. He hasn’t been in a hotel since his last vacation with his family, almost ten years ago.

“Mr. Padalecki, right?” A male voice answers him and when Jared confirms his name, the man continues. “Your voucher grants you access to all bars, restaurants and shops at Hyatt Regency.” Thinking that this should be explanation enough, the man goes silent.

Jared still isn’t any smarter than before. “Uh… okay. I’m not sure I fully understand. What is the limit on the voucher? I mean, it was a gift and I don’t know the amount put on the voucher.”

“Oh, hold on sir. I will check for you.” Again, the man’s voice dies. A light breathing hushes through the line and Jared can hear the man typing on a keyboard. “Here it is. Jared Padalecki. Room 907. There is no limit on the voucher, Sir.”

No limit on the voucher. The words have Jared’s head spinning. “Meaning?” He asks dumbly, even though he is fully aware of what no limit means.

“Meaning that you can shop in any store and restaurant at Hyatt. The billing will be processed through the credit card on file. You place an order and we will charge the credit card you provided for us.” The guy explains in details and shortly begins to sound annoyed.

Jared hasn’t provided any credit card for them. Steven did. Jared isn’t sure that Steven knows what he has done. With a no limit voucher, Jared could max out the man’s credit card and couldn’t even be blamed for it. He would never do that. Of course not. But the trust Steven has for him is putting their friendship onto a whole new level.

“Okay.” Jared all but whispers into the phone. He thinks it through, not wanting to use too much of Steven’s gift and decides on something small; just to give his stomach something to do. “I’d like a caesar salad then. And some water. Please, if that’s not too much trouble.”

The other end of the line is quiet for a moment before the man’s uncertain voice returns. “A salad?” Jared confirms and the man goes on. “Is there a special water you request?”

Jared doesn’t really care, as long as it is drinkable. “No, just plain water is fine.”

“Sir, there are different beverages in your mini bar on room.”

He takes the information in and scans the room, finding the mentioned mini bar after a few seconds. Jared gets off of the bed and opens the fridge, coming to see it stocked with a handful of water bottles, his preferred soda and mounts of his favorite snacks and chocolates. “Yeah, I see that.” Jared rasps out, eyes tearing up again when he looks at the things he can’t afford to treat himself with. “How much is it to use any of the contents?”

“But sir, in your reservation you requested it to be stocked each day of your stay with us. It is part of the premium package you booked.”

“Right.” Jared says then. He wouldn’t know, because he didn’t book the room. He has nothing to do with any of it. This is all Steven’s doing. “I’m sorry. It’s been a long day.” He apologizes to the man on the phone. “And I’m nervous about this whole weekend.”

“No need to apologize, Mr. Padalecki. You’re not the first nervous person we encountered today. We will bring your order to your room in no time.”

“Thank you.”

The first thing Jared does when he hangs up the room’s phone, is to open his favorite app to send Steven a message. Within the past ten days, Jared has sent numerous mails and messages, telling his friend how grateful he is and that he can’t stop crying because he is just that happy. If he could, Jared would launch himself at Steven and hug him for an eternity. Maybe he will get his chance to do so. Maybe Steven will show up. Maybe. A whole lot of maybes.

***

It is Friday, shortly after noon and registration has started only now. There is no need to hurry, but Jared can’t sit still for much longer. Much less do nothing and let nerves take a hold of him. Before he heads out and downstairs to Will Call he shoots Steven a message, keeping the man up-to-date on what he is doing. The other man’s messenger is probably exploding with messages already, but he did say in his email that he wanted a detailed report. For that to happen, Jared has to write messages all the time. Jared can’t be blamed, it is all Steven’s fault.

At Will Call, the volunteers are still setting up their tables and when they put up a sign, calling for Platinum VIP badges first, Jared screams internally and strides to his designated table. He is somewhere in the middle of the line, which isn’t that long but his excitement is bubbling over and he starts shaking again. If he is going to pass out, he will have to blame Steven for that as well. While waiting, with his patience wearing thin, Jared can’t help but listen in on a few conversations around him. There is a couple, probably in their mid-thirties, in front of him and the women keeps bitching and complaining, cursing how ‘fucking stupid’ it is that all Jensen photo ops are probably already sold out when it is their turn. Usually, Jared would feel bad for them, but the immature nature of her choice of words is rubbing Jared the wrong way and his annoyance grows steadily.

“Told you to order them when they put them online. Now shut up.” The boyfriend or husband of the woman lashes at her.

“Fifty tickets, Brad. Fifty! They only had fifty fucking tickets and they were gone within two minutes.” She keeps on cursing and Jared wishes he had brought his headphones. Not listening to them bicker is impossible. Whereas he completely understands that it must be very disappointing to not being able to get those tickets, and that those are not included in any passes of the convention, he can’t help himself but smile at the three prints for his Jensen photo ops in his hands. He wasn’t aware that they only sold fifty tickets online and with that piece of information, Jared sends out an instant message to Steven.

 

> The-Walking-Fan: How’d you get your hands on 3(!!!) Jensen ops?

Jared is almost at the front of the line when his phone beeps with an answer from his friend.

 

> _RickGrimes-Fan: I know a guy who knows a guy._
> 
> The-Walking-Fan: So you sold your soul or something?
> 
> _RickGrimes-Fan: Or something._
> 
> The-Walking-Fan: Seriously, Steven. People over here are going crazy because they are afraid they won’t be getting any op tickets.
> 
> _RickGrimes-Fan: Consider yourself one lucky son of a bitch._
> 
> The-Walking-Fan: I am. Because of you. You know I love you, right?
> 
> _RickGrimes-Fan: You only love me ‘cause I’m getting you to Ackles!_
> 
> The-Walking-Fan: You’re an idiot. :P
> 
> The-Walking-Fan: I’ve loved you long before. And I didn’t stop when you sent me that ridiculous Valentine’s gift two years ago.
> 
> _RickGrimes-Fan: Hey, don’t say that! Butt plugs are NOT ridiculous. Your own fault, when you go on and tell me that it’s illegal to buy sex toys in Texas. I had to help you out._
> 
> The-Walking-Fan: Yeah, who the hell sends butt plugs to their friends?
> 
> _RickGrimes-Fan: Friends who worry about their friend’s lack of action. Now let me work and go have the time of your life!_
> 
> The-Walking-Fan: You work too much. Wish you’d be here.
> 
> _RickGrimes-Fan: Oh Jeez, you’re so hot for me._
> 
> The-Walking-Fan: Fuck you.
> 
> _RickGrimes-Fan: I’d let you._
> 
> The-Walking-Fan: :O
> 
> _RickGrimes-Fan: Oh, dirty. *snicker*_

Jared closes the app quickly when the person behind him taps on his arm, and tells him to keep going. Once he is finally upfront, two grinning volunteers look up at him. One of them, a woman in her late fifties, hands him his lanyard with the Platinum VIP badge, as well as a shirt and a schedule. She explains their rules again; rules Jared knows by heart and he will stick to them like a boyscout. When she asks if Jared wants to purchase any photos or autographs, he tells her that he already purchased them online and with that, he gives her the print outs of the files Steven sent him.

In the corner of his eye he can see another volunteer taping a ‘photo ops SOLD OUT’ sign to Jensen Ackles’ poster. The raging chick from earlier probably got herself a photo op ticket after all, if they put that sign up just now.

Jared’s knees turn into pure jello as his eyes travel over every inch of that poster. The man is too attractive and it should be illegal for him to roam the earth freely. It should also be illegal to hang up posters with the man giving that look. Anyone who is not getting turned on by those eyes is either dead or lying. Or both. Not that this would be possible, but Jared’s brain shortly begins to sizzle with the handsomeness of Jensen Ackles. And that is only in the presence of a damn picture. He might be passing out when he has to stand next to the actor for the photo ops. Photo ops. Three. Three pictures with Jensen Ackles. Jared is sure he won’t be able to handle any of that. If he ever gets to meet Steven, he will punch his friend for forcing him to be here.

***

The line feels impossible long, especially for Jared, who stands at the very end of it. There are giggling teenage girls and a whole bunch of women biting their fists. Literally biting their fists when they step out from behind a curtain. Jared is, to his own surprise, completely calm and relaxed. His nervousness died down when he attended the first panel with Jensen. Of course, there was the ‘WOW’- moment when realization hit him that he is really there, in the first row of all places. Steven had sent him an instant message before the panel started, telling Jared he should try to ask a question, something they could use for their report on the forum. Jared, however, didn’t have the guts to raise his hand. There is another panel tomorrow, on Sunday, Jared will try and ask a question then. Right now, he has to figure out what pose he is going to do with Jensen. Even though he knows that behind that curtain Jensen Ackles is taking pictures with other fans. He can’t see the actor from his side of the curtain yet, but Jared has seen pictures from previous conventions with fans doing the most cringe-worthy poses. The pictures are taken quickly, every fan seems to have not more than ten to twenty seconds with the actor. Slowly, but surely, the line shortens and within another few minutes Jared is so far at the front that he can finally see the actor. The man is all smiles and agreeing to every pose his fans ask for. Too badly Jared would like to take a quick picture with his phone and tease Steven with what the man is missing, but when he does pull his phone out of his pocket a volunteer steps up right next to Jared, reminding him that it is against the rules to take pictures. Jared feels his cheeks heat up, he is probably beet red with embarrassment and shoves his phone back in his pockets. So much for sticking to the rules.

Two more people are in front of Jared now while another male fan is standing next to Jensen, getting one hell of a big hug. Jared can hear the whispers of the woman in front of him, a quiet chanting that sounds like a plea. “Oh god… oh god… I just… he just… oh god.” The woman’s voice breaks and she tumbles sideways. In an instant and completely unaware of his action, Jared’s arms fly forward, holding the woman upright.

“Hey, you okay?” He asks, his arms hooked tightly around her waist. “Do you need to sit down?”

She mumbles something Jared can’t make out and while he is still holding her, one of the volunteers comes to their aid with a chair. Together they make sure she is alright, Jared crouching down in front of her, one hand still connected to her shoulder to keep her from falling off the chair. All of a sudden more people come rushing in, all in a circle around the woman, worry on everyone’s face and gasps hushing out.

“Could we get her some water, please?” Jared speaks again and giving the woman some water seems like the right thing to do at the moment.

The group around them breaks apart, hopefully in search for some water Jared thinks. When, suddenly, a water bottle appears in his line of sight he grabs for it, his eyes never leaving the woman on the chair. “Thank you.” Jared says with a relaxed sigh following his words.

“You’re welcome. She gonna be okay?” A voice asks from behind Jared and at the sound of the voice he turns his head, staring right up into Jensen Ackles’ shocked eyes.

“I… uh…” Jared blinks, a knot forming in his throat before he is able to compose himself. “I hope so.”

“What happened?” Jensen speaks up again, his tone heavy with worry.

Jared wants to laugh, but the situation isn’t that funny. Which is, why he wants to explain what he witnessed, which wasn’t much but instead, his brain-to-mouth-filter is out and about. “Have you looked in a mirror lately?” Jared holds the bottle out for the woman and gives her his full attention and watches how she takes careful sips of the water. While his eyes stay focused on the woman, he can’t stop his mouth from running. “You probably looked at her and it knocked her right out.”

Instantly, the people around them start bursting out laughing and even the woman on the chair manages to smile at Jared. “He did.” She whispers, her eyes are still darting in all possible directions, but at least she is talking. Jared supposes that she will be alright after all.

“How rude of him.” Jared tells the woman as he lifts her arm up slightly, indicating for her to take another sip of water.

“I’m right here.” Jensen chuckles at them.

Jared cranes his neck again, looking at Jensen to give him a warning. “Yeah, we know. Just… don’t look at her again.” He tries to keep his expression stern but in the end he fails miserably and starts laughing, the woman responsible for all of that joining in.

While the woman seems to feel better with every passing minute, Jared makes a mental note to message Steven as soon as he is allowed to use his phone again. Soon the volunteers get anxious about their schedule and try to put a rush into the situation, since the woman doesn’t look like she will pass out again.

“Thanks. For the help. I’m Shannon by the way.” She speaks, her voice still layered with weakness but her smile is back in place.

“I’m Jared. No need to thank me. You just gonna make sure you’ll be alright, okay? Let me know if you need anything.” There is no guarantee that he will ever see Shannon again, but Jared offers his help nonetheless.

Shannon nods at him, all while the volunteers begin to go back to their positions and return to their jobs. One of them stays with Shannon though, talking to her in a calming manner and explaining to her that they will wait a little while longer to get her picture taken with Jensen. If she doesn’t feel strong enough to get back on her own feet, they can just get Jensen a chair too and make sure she gets what she came and paid for.

There are only a handful of other fans left in the photo op room and the photographer is getting ready to shoot the last few pictures for this session. The girl that stood in front of Shannon is now standing next to Jensen. Only now does Jared realize that the man isn’t even next to him anymore. It feels completely surreal that he got to talk to Jensen. Something he should definitely thank Shannon for.

A volunteer with crazy green hair waves Jared closer. Barely five seconds later he is gently pushed forward, towards Jensen. The man is smiling so wide at him that Jared is almost ready to follow Shannon’s lead.

“Hey hero. You mind taking a picture with me or do you have to save someone else?” Jensen smirks at Jared. The smirk of all smirks, the one that leaves people breathless.

Jared though, plays along, enjoying the few seconds he has with the man. “Nah, I don’t mind. I can spare a few moments of my time for you.”

“So generous. A true gentleman.” The actor pats him on the shoulder and nods alongside his words. “Alright, that guy there,” Jensen points his thumb to the photographer but his eyes don’t leave Jared. “...he’s got zero patience. Let me know what you wanna do and we’ll get you a great picture.”

“Three.” Jared corrects and when his brain serves him enough power to realize that the actor has probably no idea what he is talking about, he elaborates. “Three pictures, actually. I got three.”

“I guess it’s my lucky day.” Jensen wiggles his eyebrows and dares to wink at Jared. If he wouldn’t know better, and wasn’t so delusional, he would assume that the actor is trying to flirt with him. An actor who might be rumored to be gay, but never commented on anything regarding his sexuality. It is nobody’s business anyway, least of all Jared’s. Doesn’t mean he doesn’t like the way Jensen smiles at him. There is just something in the man’s eyes that he has never seen before on the millions of pictures and videos he has on his hard drive.

“Can we just… uh, you know, do something not weird? I’ve never done this before so I have no idea what I’m doing.” Jared confesses and hopes that Jensen will lead him to get some decent pictures.

“Good thing I’ve done this once or twice. Three pictures it is.” Jensen says and pulls Jared closer, wrapping his arm around Jared’s lower back, hand resting lazily on his hip. “Now you gotta smile.” Jensen says, as if he’s talking to a little kid and Jared probably ruins the shot because he is falling into a fit of laughter. “Perfect. Now two more.” The actor holds a finger up for the photographer, showing him to wait until they are ready. Jared has no idea what is happening until Jensen is suddenly behind him. “Jesus, you’re tall.” With that being said, Jensen goes on his tiptoes to lay his head on Jared’s shoulder. With the man being so close to him, Jared can barely breathe, much less pay attention to what the actor is actually doing to him. There is a flash of the camera and Jared stares right at it, blinding him for seconds. He can feel Jensen’s face still close to his cheeks and while the actor slowly backs away there is a warm breath against his ear. “You smell amazing.”

Jared is absolutely certain that he had heard wrong. It must have been his imagination because, first of all, Jensen wouldn’t say that to him and secondly, not in his sexy voice. He knows another picture is taken, but the next couple of minutes happen in a blur for Jared. He knows that he stutters a few thank yous to Jensen and the actor says something to him, but Jared’s mind is still running wild and he can’t understand a word anymore. Maybe being so close to Jensen made him forget his mother language. If looking at fans can make them pass out, then stealing the power of speech from people he is talking to must be another one of his super powers.

Outside of the photo op room, his phone starts beeping.

 

> _RickGrimes-Fan: How much do you love me?_
> 
> The-Walking-Fan: You have no idea.
> 
> _RickGrimes-Fan: Yeah, that’s why I’m asking. How’s it going?_
> 
> The-Walking-Fan: You have no idea.
> 
> _RickGrimes-Fan: Again, that’s why I’m asking. Wanna hear something funny?_
> 
> The-Walking-Fan: Shoot.
> 
> _RickGrimes-Fan: We’re in the same state._
> 
> The-Walking-Fan: Constant anxiety?
> 
> _RickGrimes-Fan: Illinois, idiot._
> 
> The-Walking-Fan: Haha…
> 
> The-Walking-Fan: wait… what? Are you serious?!
> 
> _RickGrimes-Fan: Same city even._
> 
> The-Walking-Fan: You’re shitting me!!!!
> 
> _RickGrimes-Fan: Surprise. I’m in room 322. I’ll meet you there in twenty minutes._
> 
> The-Walking-Fan: No fucking way! Don’t mess with me, dude.
> 
> _RickGrimes-Fan: Twenty minutes._

Jared stares at the conversation and is back to full disbelief. If he is really going to finally meet his friend face to face then this is definitely the best weekend of his life. Going to this convention has surely been his lifetime wish, but having an actual live conversation with Steven, a man he cares so much about, feels like the world is being handed to him. If only half of Steven’s bantering and flirting has been honest during their conversations over the last seven years, then Jared is absolutely and completely on board with figuring out how deep their relationship could go. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, he has stored an article he once read about relationships built on friendships. How great they can turn out to be. Maybe the two of them can work out to be like that as well.

Jared takes long and hurried steps towards the elevators and, again, finds himself in a long line of fans waiting their turn. He could probably use the stairs and run up to the third floor, but he doesn’t want to meet Steven all sweaty and panting. That would only make him look desperate. However, they never made it a secret how much they would love to meet in person someday.

By the time he is on the third floor and heading towards room 322, he listens to his body, trying to find an ounce of fear or nervous energy. None. He can’t find any of that. There is nothing but pure excitement and he feels ready to squeal with happiness. There is no reason to be nervous, not with Steven. Not after years of friendship. Jared doesn’t even stop when he stands in front of Steven’s door, knocking twice, hard and impatient. He can’t wait to finally meet the man and wrap him into a huge hug.

A deep breath later, Jared knocks again and can’t stop himself from smiling from one ear to another. Then, when the door opens slowly and Jared sees the man in front of him, his smile falls right off his face, instead his eyes grow wide and he blinks a couple of times. “Uh…” He rasps out. “I’m sorry… I think…”

“Well, if it isn’t Saturday’s hero.” Jensen Ackles nods, directing a brain-melting smile at him.

“I… yeah, I’m sorry. I think I got the wrong room.” It takes him some great effort to move his eyes away from the actor and to the room number next to the door. “I mean, my friend said he’d be here. Probably a typo. I didn’t mean to interrupt you.”

“You’re not interrupting.” Jensen is leaning against the door leaf, its edge digging into the man’s chest.

Jared shakes his head and pulls his phone out of his pocket, “he’s so not going to believe this.” Unlocking the screen, Jared opens his app, ready to send a message to Steven and correct the room number for him.

“Believe what?” Jensen asks then, his body moving towards Jared, head tilting slightly to look at Jared’s phone.

“That he accidently gave me the wrong room number and it’s _your_ room. He’s gonna call me a liar.”

“He won’t. Take a picture.” Jensen suggest then, head craned upwards to look at Jared. The man’s brow is rising and Jared is close to pissing his pants if this man doesn’t stop looking so fucking attractive. It’s not fair.

“What?” Jared rushes out when it finally hits him what the actor actually said.

“Yeah, take a picture. You and I, in front of room 322. Then send it to him.” The man shrugs, nonchalantly, like it is no big deal. And without missing a beat, Jensen grabs for Jared’s phone, opens the camera and pulls him close to take a selfie next to the room number. “There you go. Send it.”

“Alright.” The wifi at the hotel is the worst and at least two minutes pass before the picture is uploaded to the instant messenger. ‘Wrong room, fucker. I’m not mad though.’ Jared types quickly and hits send. Yet another thing on the list of many things he has to thank his friend for.

Just as he is about to apologize to Jensen again, and, of course, thank him for the picture both their heads snap up when the sound of loud chatter and laughs fills the air. Fans. A lot of them, Jared thinks and when he scans Jensen’s face the man looks freaked.

“Get in, quick.” The actor moves out of the way and takes a couple steps backwards.

“Huh?” Jared stutters out, not really getting what the man is saying. Before he has a chance to get a reply, Jensen pulls him inside the hotel room by his wrist and throws the door closed. “Whoa. Yeah. Okay.”

“Gimme a second.” Jensen requests and leaves Jared standing awkwardly at the door. He has no idea where the actor is going, and even less of an understanding of what is happening right now. It looks like Jensen is going into a whole different room.

A short while later, Jared still hasn’t moved an inch; Jensen comes back, hands stuffed in his jeans pockets, “so? You got an answer yet from your friend?”

In that moment, his phone alerts him of a message. “I guess I got one now.” Jared chuckles and unlocks his screen to check his message.

> _RickGrimes-Fan: Call me. 404-555-1984_

Something feels off when he looks at the number. He has seen the area code before, and it’s definitely not the one belonging to Seattle. “Mh…”

“Something wrong?” Jensen sounds worried and when Jared’s eyes leave the screen of his phone to take in the man in front of him, the actor looks worried as well.

“Not sure, not really. Um, my friend wants me to call him.” There is no need to explain Jared’s troubles to the actor, a complete stranger to be quite honest. The man must have more important business to attend. “I should go. Thanks for the picture. I really appreciate it.”

“Call him.” Jensen pushes and nods at the phone in Jared’s hand.

Jared doesn’t really feel like calling Steven, not after finding it odd that his friend has a number that is not from Washington state. But Jensen is still looking at him expectantly, for some unbeknownst reason. He clicks on the number in the messenger window and holds the phone against his ear, waiting for the first dial tone.

As the call audibly connects, another phone starts ringing inside the hotel room. Jared doesn’t think much of it and only offers Jensen a weak smile. The call doesn’t connect, even after five rings. The other phone’s shrill echo travels through the room, still waiting to get picked up, and Jensen pulls a cell from his pants, holding it out for Jared to look at.

At first Jared doesn’t know what he is supposed to do, which Jensen picks up on and holds the phone closer. There, on the actor’s ringing phone Jared can clearly identify his own phone number calling. Now he really is confused. Jared squints, reads the digits again while the dial tone in his ear is completely in sync with the ringtone of Jensen Ackles’ incoming call.

“I think you can hang up now.” Jensen scratches at the back of his head, a movement caught on camera so many times Jared knows that it means the man is nervous.

“I don’t understand. What’s going on here?” Jared takes a couple steps backwards, his back landing with a soft thud against the door and he disconnects his call. “Why would Steven give me your number? How does he have your number in the first place?”

“Jared…” Jensen’s voice is barely above a whisper. “It’s me.”

“How do you…” ‘know my name’ Jared wants to ask, but his brain serves him the needed memory from the photo ops, when he told Shannon, the fainting fan, his name. Jensen was there too. The actor probably remembers his name from there. Confusion doubles and Jared can’t figure out how his friend got his hands on Jensen’s number. To receive an answer, Jared ignores the actor, in favor of sending another message to Steven.

 

> The-Walking-Fan: Shit. The hell you got this number from?

The actor’s phone rings once, a soft whistle sound and when Jared looks at Jensen, the man holds the phone out for him once again. The screen shows a notification, a new incoming message. A preview of it as clear as daylight: ‘The-Walking-Fan: Shit. The hell you got this number from?’

“Do you really need me to answer that?” Jensen stares him down, his eyes pleading with Jared. For what though, Jared isn’t sure. And when the man’s question hits him, Jared begins to connect the dots.

It is a puzzle he doesn’t want to complete; can’t complete because too many pieces are missing. Something in the actor’s eyes, however, tell him he has already put it together. There is only one final step left, adding the glue that holds the puzzle together; to keep it from falling apart. “Steven.”

“Online, yeah. It’s Jensen, actually. But you know that.”

Jared feels like he is getting sick, his stomach is tied in a thousand knots. He is standing face to face with his favorite actor, in the man’s hotel room, all while his brain is trying its best to keep up with what is happening, that, apparently, his treasured and meticulously built friendship with Steven is based on one massive lie. Whenever life kicked Jared in the ass, the first person he spoke to, the one and only person he found solace in was Steven. Only, Steven doesn’t exist. The man who means so much to him, the man who knows Jared’s deepest and darkest secrets doesn’t exist. He does, but Steven isn’t who he made Jared believe to be. It was Jensen. “All this time?” He croaks out, needing the confirmation.

Jensen nods at him, not saying a word, leaving Jared debating if he should laugh or cry. Crying feels like the right thing to do. Though, he swallows his disappointment down. Another memory hits him when he mentally keeps begging his mind to prove to him that this is a joke. “No. That… that can’t be. Steven sent me a picture. I’ve seen a picture of him, his face. He looks nothing like you. You’re not… no.”

The actor shuffles his socked feet over the plush hotel carpet, his steps pulling him closer to Jared, but he tries to get further away from the actor. He can’t, however; he is already as close to the door as he physically can. “That’s my cousin.” Jensen begins to explain and Jared really doesn’t want to hear any of it. Only he does. He needs to know. So, he stays quiet and waits for the older man to keep going. “He’s been maintaining the forum since the show’s gotten more popular. I’ve been too busy doing it myself. The messages, however, that’s all me. I couldn’t tell you who I was.”

“Bullshit.” Jared’s voice takes on a snappy edge, still not completely ready to buy it. “You’re not him. I know Steven and… and… he knows me. He knows everything about me. _Everything_!”

“Yeah, like that thing with the broken toe. It happened when you ran into your desk. I still feel bad about it.” A smile creeps up on Jensen’s lips, followed by a fine layer of sadness.

Jared wants to smile too, laugh at the memory. He was in the bathroom when his computer’s speaker shrilled to life, indicating a bunch of new messages from _RickGrimes-Fan_. Jared thought that something was wrong, because there were just too many messages coming in. It turned out to be nothing spectacular. But, while he raced back to his desk, he hit his toe so hard that it broke. They had a good laugh about it. Now, Jared doesn’t feel like laughing at all. “Steven told you that.”

“No. _You_ told _me_ that you broke your toe.” When the actor obviously struggles to convince Jared, he tries further. “Jared, my cousin’s name is Brandon. He’s a couple years younger than me and does live in Seattle. But he never talked to you; you never talked to him. There’s nobody by the name of Steven. I made him up.”

Jared begins to believe the man. The problem is, that he doesn’t want to believe any of this. He can’t, he is too scared to accept the truth. Mortified even. Mortified and embarrassed over all the things he shared with the man, the secrets he told him and all the intimate details Jared let him be a part of. He feels betrayed and exploited. “You lied to me.”

“I might have altered a few personal details.” The actor licks his bottom lip and if Jared isn’t mistaken, there is a light blush painting the man’s face.

Jared is in too much of a shocked and angry state to just drop it and leave it at that. “Years. You lied to me for years. Seven fucking years.”

Jensen’s hand tries to reach out for him but Jared takes a step to his left, “I… I’m sorry Jared. I really am. You need to understand that…”

Jared can’t listen to any excuses and interrupts the actor. “I don’t need to understand shit. You can’t walk around pretending to be someone else, playing with people’s feelings like you own them. You make me look like a complete idiot!”

Jensen stops him, holding his hands up and making a sign of surrender, but Jared doesn’t let him. “I’m not done, buddy. I talked about you, with Steven. No, with you. I talked to you about you. What the hell, man. Are you getting off on shit like that? The high and mighty Ackles doing whatever the fuck he wants, without caring what it does to the people around him? Why the fuck did you bring me here? To rub what a damn fool I’ve been in my face?”

Finally accepting the fact that Jared doesn’t want him anywhere near his personal space, Jensen walks to one of the chairs behind him. “It seemed like… you know… it was time to finally meet you. I never knew how to tell you. I had to confess face to face.  And, since we both wanted to see each other for so long, I thought I could… I don’t know. Two birds with one stone, I guess.”

Jared can’t believe what he is hearing. “That’s where you’re wrong. I wanted to see _Steven_. My friend. I wanted to meet a guy who I deeply care about. What gives you the right to treat people like this?”

It doesn’t go unnoticed by Jared that Jensen is troubled with his confession and words don’t seem to come easily to him. “Did I ever treat you wrong?”

The nerve of the actor is astounding. “Yeah, for seven damn years.” Sure, he didn’t treat him wrong per se. Though, lying isn’t exactly the way of treating people, _friends_ , properly.

Jensen, now sitting with his face in his hands shakes his head. “That’s not true. Not entirely. The longer I was Steven, the harder it became to come clean. What was I supposed to do?”

The question leaves Jared speechless for a moment and he scoffs. “What you were supposed to do? How about being honest; just once. I believed you. God damnit, I believed every fucking word you said to me. So much so that I… ” He stops himself right there. He is officially an idiot, Jensen made sure of that. Throwing his own confession into the room, admitting that he has more than just friendship feelings for a man who doesn't exist would make matters worse. Jared isn't ready to throw himself under the bus just yet.

“There’s only two things I haven’t been honest with you: my name and my age. Everything else I ever said to you was God’s honest truth.” Jensen actually has the audacity to sound honest, but the actor lies for a living. Who knows what is really going on in the man’s head.

The worst possibilities course through Jared’s mind. All the speculations from the past years enter his thoughts. Especially the thoughts of Jensen Ackles hiding his sexuality. What if, the man, is in fact gay. What if this is his move. Hiding on the internet to find guys he can hook up with. It’s such a ridiculous thought that Jared wants to slap himself. He can’t possibly be this wrong about a person he believed to know so much about. He is too confused to listen to anything more, too shocked to sort through the chaos in his mind. Jared’s urge to leave grows steadily and this is the only feeling he can physically act on. “We’re done here.” He turns without looking at the actor again, and grabs for the doorhandle with shaky fingers.

“No. Wait! Jared, please. Why do you think I wanted you to be here?” Jensen’s chair connects with a wall, a sound of the man all but jumping out of the chair and without turning around Jared can sense the man’s presence closing in on him.

“I couldn’t care less.” It’s a whisper, soft enough that Jared isn’t sure if Jensen heard him or not. It doesn’t matter. He doesn’t care.

“I made sure you’d get to Chicago so I could tell you who I am. Do you have any idea how many times I was about to board a plane and come see you?” Jared swallows at the words, can feel the man’s breath behind him. Every word sounds promising, true even. Nevertheless, Jared has been fooled long enough. He himself takes a deep breath and turns the doorknob only to be stopped by Jensen. The actor’s hand holding on to Jared’s wrist. “Jared, there’s always been something between us…”

“Yeah, a whole lotta fucking lies.” Jared snaps and pulls his wrist free. It’s all too much. He can’t handle more than what he has learned today. “Have a nice life.”

***

Back inside his own hotel room, the last thirty minutes play on a loop on Jared’s brain and he wishes so badly that it was nothing but a nightmare, that he will wake up any second now. He doesn’t wake up. Even after pinching himself, he is still stuck in a life that has just been turned upside down. Millions of thoughts trample over every single nerve in his brain, trying to split his skull with the day’s events. Everything was perfect, he finally got what he had wished for; his cravings were fed. But what took place with Steven, no, with Jensen, is giving him the headache of a lifetime. He invested so much of his time in this friendship; time and his heart, which now feels like being ripped apart. Jared tries desperately, he really does, to understand what Jensen has done to him. During some of his conversations with Steven, they went as far as making fun of the crazy fans, the ones who can’t leave the actors be; the fans who have no boundaries and won’t accept that actors are people too. They have a private life that they are all very protective of. There are fans who simply can’t respect that and this is the only reason why Jared can understand Jensen’s actions. But, they have known each other for so many years; they know each other. Jensen knows Jared, how he thinks and how his brain works. Believing that Jared could have treated the man any different than he treated Steven, is just wrong on Jensen’s end. What Jensen also knows about Jared is exactly how he feels about Jensen Ackles: the actor. Many times Jared has swooned over a man he’s only ever seen on tv, telling Steven how he thinks Jensen Ackles might be the hottest thing to ever walk this planet. Little did he know that his every compliment was sent directly to Jensen himself. The compliments themselves aren’t that much of a problem, there is nothing wrong with handing out compliments. No, there were intimate thoughts being shared.

Of course, while Jared definitely isn’t one of the crazy fans, he would be a liar if he didn’t have his own little fantasies and he wouldn’t need to be held at gunpoint to admit that he has jerked off a few times too often with the image of Jensen Ackles on his mind. And that, that is also something _Steven_ knows.

How can Jensen possibly expect them to maintain their friendship when the actor is in on what is going on in the dirty corners of Jared’s mind. It is weird is what it is. There is no way Jared could ever look at, or even talk to, the man again without turning bright red.

On the other hand, Jared always wondered what it would be like if the actor was made aware of his existence. Now Jared knows, if any of Jensen’s words have been the truth.

His head is a messed up place of mixed emotions and Jared is in desperate need of a manual on how to handle it. Since there is nobody to turn to, and his friend turned out to be a liar, Jared can’t do anything other than leave the past behind. It might not be the right thing to do, maybe he should give Jensen a chance to explain himself. Though, at the moment, Jared isn’t able to hand out forgiveness. Not when he has been lied to for years.

Leaving sounds like a great idea to him and with the idea growing more necessary, Jared begins collecting his belongings and stuffs it all in his duffle bag. There is no need for him to stay at the hotel any longer. He will miss all the other panels, he won’t get to see the other actors during their panels and he has many unused photo op tickets left. Knowing full well this is a once in a lifetime chance, he contemplates staying and making the best of it. But, Jensen paid for all of it. That is reason enough for Jared to say _fuck it_.

Jared scans the room one last time to make sure he doesn’t forget any of his things and as soon as he opens the door, the sound of his phone cuts through his train of thought.

 

> _RickGrimes-Fan: I never meant to hurt you. Believe me, it wasn’t my intention. I screwed up and I’d give everything to make it right again. Please, can we talk?_

He swallows, hard, at the message on his small screen. Jared really wants to walk back to Jensen’s room but he is way too embarrassed to look the man in the eyes again. Ever. Jared closes the message and deletes the forum app from his phone. A friendship based on lies has no future, much less the chance to turn  into something more.

On his way to reception, Jared walks past a few other fans. They’re bubbling with excitement and being downright filled with never ending happiness; up until an hour ago, Jared was able to relate. The sound from the main hall echoes through the lobby, announcing Jensen to go on stage any minute and suddenly hell breaks loose and everyone is practically storming into the main hall. Jared watches everyone run past him; he watches how everyone is giddy and delighted by the prospect of seeing the actor on stage again. All Jared can feel is the painful drop of his stomach and the way his heart clenches in his chest. Only a minute later he is alone, everyone around him gone and the lobby seems so much bigger than before. He feels small; lost. Commotion in the far back of the lobby catches his attention and when he does the mistake of following the voices, he sees Jensen. The man is surrounded by volunteers and bodyguards, escorting him to the stage entry of the main hall. The people around him are engrossed in a conversation, all while Jensen’s eyes are glued to the phone in his hand. When they get closer to the entry, one of the volunteers says something to Jensen, something Jared can’t hear by the distance separating them. The actor nods at the volunteer and puts his phone away.

For some reason Jared begins to regret his decision to leave, although he has every reason to be angry. Nonetheless, he turns away and steps through the glass doors where a shuttle bus is already waiting to bring him and other hotel guests back to the airport.

In his Literature class, Jared had read an article about time healing all wounds. He has most of the words stored in his brain, because he found them pretty damn ridiculous. Right now, it feels like those words might be his only lifeline. Something to hold on to so he doesn’t fall apart.

_‘Just sit back and in time you’ll no longer have the sadness, anguish, yearning, guilt, anger and fear you’re feeling now. They’ll fade away, and you’ll be fine.’_

 

**The End.**

 

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**Additional Art:**

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